There are some things in life, in which once its done, its done. No turning back, no more "I wish I had... " We just count our losses, and move on. And yet, there are some things there are not so easy to let go, forget, and move on...
These are the things that constantly haunts us. These are the things that propogates and echoes the resounding "I wish I had.." longings in our hearts. I wish I had. I wish I had.
From where I stand, I wish I had been a kinder person. I wish I had more humility in me. I wish had more love. Memories of the past comes to remind me. Words that I've spoken, I wish I could've taken it back. People that I've hurt, I wished I could've told them I'm sorry. People that I've neglected, I wished I could have loved them more. Relationships that I've screwed up, I wish I could have a second chance to make things right. Have I repented? I don't know. I know I need to. I can't promise myself that I won't repeat this foolishness.
Driving to work today, these thoughts ran in my head. As the faces of these people that I've hurt flashed in my mind, tears streamed down my face. I cried out, "Lord, I'm sorry... I'm sorry. Please give me one more chance. Please help me make it right. Please help me."
Then came silence. Stillness filled the car eventhough motion was everywhere. Peace came, and out of the quietness of the moment, God spoke. But there were no comprehensible words. Not audibly, nor in my thoughts. But I understood it. Words that goes beyond human expression. It brought relief as my chest stopped hurting.
I reached my work place. I wiped my face dry. God has spoken. And I know, that I've been already given a second chance, if not third, fourth, fifth...
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