你是我最深愛的人 (You are my beloved)

你是我最深愛的人
Words & Music by:永邦

愛上了一個人　
能夠為她犧牲
就算付出了生命　
我甘心為了你

兩個人在一起　
分享愛的命運
永遠都不會忘記　
我們生活點滴

你是我最深愛的女人
你有最美麗的嘴唇
你擁有最動人的眼神
你帶給我幸福和快樂

我是你最深愛的男人
我的愛絕對是永恆
做什麼都值得　
愛上了一個人

Ziggy says coffee cost too much too....

"Ziggy" - Sunday, Jul 24, 2005

This must be the main reason why I stopped going for premium coffee... 

What's in a coffee?

Make a trip to Starbucks or CoffeeBean and you'll be spoiled with choices for coffee. However, I always wondered what's behind those fancy coffee names, and sometimes, I guess I'm just too proud to ask. Anyway, I've managed to get a list, and to all the proud coffee lovers, here's what your coffee's made of...

Cappuccino
1/3 Espresso
1/3 Hot Steamed Milk
1/3 Frothed Milk
Dusted with chocolate powder
(Served in a Large Porcelain cup)

Caffe Latte (Cafe Au Lait)
1/4 Espresso
3/4 Creamy Hot Milk
Topped with a delicate layer of a foamed milk

(Served in a tall, thick glass)

Espresso
A short black or standard pour.
Drawn for 15-20 seconds (50-60ml)
Presented with a rich, golden "creama"
(Served in a short glass or porcelain cup)

Vienna Coffee
A Double pour of Espresso
(Served in a tall glass or cup, topped with whipped cream)

Syrup Cappuccino
1/3 Espresso
1/3 Hot Milk
1/3 Frothed Milk
Your choice of Syrup...

Espresso Macchaito
An Espresso 'marked' or 'stained' in the center of the crem
with a dash of hot foamed milk.
(Served in a short glass or porcelain cup)

Irish Nut Latte
Irish creme and hazelnut syrup
1/4 Espresso
3/4 Hot Milk

Flat White
1/2 Porcelain cup of Espresso coffee
Topped with Hot milk

Hot Chocolate
20g of Chocolate added to 150ml of Fresh Cold Milk
Frothed with steam wand of Espresso machine to produce a rich creamy Hot Chocolate.

Mocca (Pronounce as 'Moh-kah' not 'Moh-cah'...)
1/3 Espresso and Chocolate Syrup
2/3 Frothed milk
(Served in a tall glass or cup and dusted with chocolate)

Long Black
A pour of Espresso usually extended to three quarters full.
(Served in a regular size glass or porcelain cup)

"You And Me" - Lifehouse

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me
And all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
And all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things
That I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me
And all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me
And all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me
And all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
And all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you and me
and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove

And it's you and me
And all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Peace of God

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - John 14:27

These were the very words that Jesus spoke of before that fateful night of His betrayal. He knew that His time was near, and instead of being filled with fear and panic, He took the opportunity to speak words of comfort to His disciples.

Jesus spoke of the peace of God. He made it clear that this peace is different from the peace that the world gives. This made me think. What kind of peace does the world gives anyway? Not much at first thought. But suddenly, when you do take time to think more about it, there seems to be alot. From relationships to finances, to governments and political systems, and even institutions and social structures, we see how all these systems that were established for years seemed so secure in its foundation. For example, the current generation in Malaysia has no concept of how devestating war could be except from the images that the media carries. We carry this sense of security that allows us to sleep at night knowing that when we wake up tomorrow, things will remain the same as it is yesterday. We call "this" peace. But is it? As history has shown for centuries, peace in a country never lasts, no matter how strong or secure the government is. From the grandeur of Rome's government, what's left of it is only its name and some ruins. So, if a government, regardless of its size and strength, can be so fragile, what more of the systems that it tries to protects. From financial to educational institutions, all these will fall when the government crumbles.

However, it is in instances like these that Jesus mentions we can still have the peace of God. This is because no one is greater than God. He is a sure foundation. No one can move Him. And the strength and security of God, if we choose, can become our peace. For Christians, the peace of God has become something that's mundane for us because we've heard of it so many times. But until we treasure it in our hearts, it will remain just a "good idea". This peace was never meant to be just a good idea, or an option / alternative for Christian to hang on to during troubling times. Rather, it was meant to keep us steady, with our eyes fixed on Him, and our hearts and minds still filled with His purposes and will regardless of what's going on in our surrounding. It was this peace that Christ died on the cross so that by His sacrifice, it is something that we can have.

I guess the opposite of the peace of God, would be the wrath of God. Spending a week listening to John Piper preaching on this topic has opened up my eyes to another side of God - God is not only love, He is also just. And oh the price that Christ paid so that we can stand justified in the sight of God, if we only knew what it cost, we would change the way we live.

May we not treat the peace of God lightly. It's given to us so that in calm and stormy times our lives, this peace will remain our anchor that keeps us close to God.

"Lord, I thank you for this peace. I thank you that in my wretchedness, you've found favor in me thru Your Son Jesus. But may I be continually changed, and may Your peace that surpasses all understanding, keep and guard my heart in Christ Jesus. Amen."

Men are from Mars, Women are from Pulau Ketam...

Ahh... funny as it may seems, yet so true. :P

"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow I want more

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tea & Sympathy

'nuff said....

"Tea And Sympathy" - Jars Of Clay

Fare thee well
Trade in all our words for tea and sympathy
Wonder why we tried, for things that could never be
Play our hearts lament, like an unrehearsed symphony

Not intend
To leave this castle full of empty rooms
Our love the captive in the tower never rescued
And all the victory songs
Seem to be playing out of tune

But it's not the way
That it has to be
Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy
'Cause it's not the way
That it has to be

You begin
And all your words fall to the floor and break like china cups
And the waitress grabs a broom and tries to sweep them up
I reach for my tea and slowly drink in

'Cause it's not the way
That it has to be
Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy
'Cause it's not the way
That it has to be
Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy

So fare thee well
Words the bag of leaves that fill my head
I could taste the bitterness and call the waitress instead
She holds the answer, smiles and asks one teaspoon or two

Don't trade us for tea and sympathy
Don't trade us for tea and Sympathy
We can work it out
Don't trade us for tea and Sympathy
Don't trade us for tea and Sympathy
We can work it out
Don't trade us for tea and Sympathy
We can work it out

God's still on the throne (2)

It's funny how time can just pass you by like that. I guess sometimes it's interesting in the sense that though we are all in the same time and space continuum, yet, we can experience time differently.

These past few months have left me with new questions of life. It has challenged me to answer for my choices of action and speech. I guess that's important at one point or another. However, even through all the questions, and searching for truths to answer them, yet, above all, one truth remains the same, that God is still on the throne. Now, before you fill your mind with assumptions, let me explain what I'm trying to say.

Let's try with this scenario: Two persons sitting next to each other in a bus stop. The person on the left has just managed to acquire a high-paying job in a reputable company. That's all he has ever dreamt of and wanted. To him, at that point of time, there could be nothing that could top that. Next to him, sits a girl, who has just found out that her boyfriend has cheated on her. He left her after he was bored with her even though she has given everything that she could, to be with him. Here's what I'm trying to say: Same time, same place, and yet, a world of difference in their emotions. Now, let's fast forward this story to the future for say, a couple of weeks. So, two weeks later at the same bus stop, sits the same two people. However, this time, the guy found out that the guy who promised him the job was fired, and never managed to get his appointment letter done before that uneventful day. So, he lost his dream job, even before getting it. And next to him, sits the girl from 2 weeks back. However, things has turned around for her. Her boyfriend has realized his mistake and how much he misses her, and in earnestness and repentance, came back to her and ask her for another chance. Though she is reluctant, but she took the risk to give it a shot, and to her, it was a long awaited sense of relief from the hurt that she was going thru. Again, same place and time, yet their emotions differ by light years apart.
This story could continue, with the guy finding another job, and the girl getting betrayed again, and that's life. There're never any guarantees. Some people say that life's how we make of it. I guess what they mean is that the guy when lost his job could sort of "reassure" himself by saying to himself that there's always other dream jobs, and the girl could say that he don't deserve her. But we know, and time bears testimony to this, that life don't always to turn out the way we want, no matter how sincere our initial motives were, or how "good" we were in carrying out our lives.

But it is in the "hopelessness" of this "cycle of grief" that the awesomeness of God will shine. He is never moved nor shaken by any calamities or tragedies. No matter how terrible our situation maybe, He is still God. He is the God who remains in control. Nothing ever surprises Him. Nothing is too great nor too difficult for Him to handle. And here's the good news: "He is on our side."

And this is my hope. God's still on the throne. He's on my side. I didn't do anything to deserve His support or blessing, but it is in His eternal grace and mercy that I can find a place of refuge that's so secure. He's my tower and refuge, my God in whom I trust.

"Lord, more that just words, I pray that you take my heart and make it yours. In my brokenness, restore me, and let me know, that it is You, and only You, that can ever make me complete. In Jesus' name, Amen."

DiSC Profiling

The DiSC Profiling is one of the many personality test that's out in the market. One of the more widely used is the Myers-Briggs Personality test, however, it's comprehensiveness tends to turn off people as many are not to excited about filling up a hundred questions. I personally find DiSC to be more practical, and even though it is not as comprehensive as Myers-Briggs, but I find it to be eeriely accurate. Take a online test and find out what your personality is.

http://www.testsonthenet.com/disc/ww-info.htm

To those who have taken the test, why don't post your results in my comments. I've taken the test and scored a high for D and C.

For more info on DiSC, check out this link: http://www.discprofile.com/whatisdisc.htm

When silence speaks...

It's funny how sometimes silence can speak more than audible words, and even more interesting is how we ignore these "silent words". Some call these body language, but I want to call it, the language of the heart.

For some people, their heart and tongue are next to each other, but for some others, the distance is like a million miles. And these people, with the distant heart and tongue, struggle in their everyday lives to let people know what they feel. I'm beginning to feel that I'm in this category. Sometimes when I reflect on myself, I find myself speaking some stuff that didn't come from my heart. And there are times when I do try to speak from my heart, it comes up all wrong.

To make things worse, the distance of the tongue and the listener's ear is another million miles, and is another million miles from the ear to the heart. Thus, what goes out from a speaker's mouth, might not necessarily arrive correctly in the listener's heart.

What are we to do then? What am I to do?

I'm glad that in times like this, the word of God brings forth wisdom. James 1:19 says: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." This now make greater sense to me. Everyone wants to be understood. Everybody wants their point of view taken. But very few choose to understand. Very few choose to see other's viewpoint first. And honestly, I struggle with this. I'm struggle with pride in my heart. This pride rides on the horse of arrongance, pompousness and lack of love.

But there's a way thru this. If we continue reading James, it says in verse 21: "Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. " This means that I've got to trust God more than ever. Whether I can understand the situation or not, or "fix" the problem, it's not the main priority. The point that James is trying to make here is "obey God". Obey with whatever knowhow I have of Him. Even when it doesn't make sense. So, in situations where communication fails, I've got to obey God by being "quick to listen, and slow to speak" even when I feel I might have the words of solution to the issue. It's once said that you can't argue someone to the kingdom of God. I now understand that better, and by faith, take that principal to my relationships, that is, "I can't solve problems by merely words". I've got to, even when it doesn't make sense, to trust in God, that even when I have the "right" to say stuff, I should still shut up, and only speak when He asks me too. This, is my struggle.

Reading the lyrics to the song "When you say nothing at all" which was written by Don Schlitz and Paul Overstreet, and performed by Ronan Keating and also Alison Krauss, I really wonder whether I can ever reach to that height of communication in relationships, where words become secondary to express feelings, heart and love. I'm a man of words. But as the bible goes, it convicts my heart to tell me that words alone are not enough. And it will never be. Faith in God is what it takes. Faith that He (God) is in the process of making all things right.

"God, make me a man of few words, and the few words that I speak, may it bring hope and life to those who hears it. If it doesn't, then, shut me up for my own good. Amen."

"When You Say Nothing At All"
by Don Schlitz and Paul Overstreet

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Confidence

It is said that the three hardest words for humans to say is "I am sorry", and probably the four hardest words for us to say is "I Could Be Wrong". The worst thing is that it is just as hard to say to ourselves as it is to say to others. This then brings me to the issue of "self-confidence". I've learned that self-confidence is needed to get thru life, as there are many out there who suffers from low self-esteem, and find difficulty in getting anything done. But self-confidence can be a stumbling block, if it is not used properly.

Most people obtain their self-confidence from truth. And these truths can come from experiences in life as well as teachings, advice, and resources from other people. Thus lies the issue of the "validity" of these truths. What if we were confident of something that is false?

Without getting into too much philosophy (meaning of truth, reality, bla bla), I've learned that the Jesus is the only truth that is unshifting. Even though we can twist and turn His words to conform to our ways, but we can't do that in sincerity of heart. And plus, if we lean on the leading of the Holy Spirit, we will have the reassurance of God in our lives. What I'm trying to say is this, that even having the "knowledge" of Christ as our confidence can be dangerous. Even with the revelation of what Christ have done for us, we could still have hearts that are not fully surrended to Him. I guess this is probably why the apostle Paul warned the early church to "work out their salvation with fear and trembling". He is not telling us to ask ourselves whether we are saved daily, but rather, to check our hearts and mind daily.

"I could be wrong". When was the last time we asked ourselves this question, especially in the context when we brought forth a certain issue to a family or friend. Even if the issue was about Christ as a Savior, but did we bring forth the issue with love and gentleness, as instructed to us by the Holy Spirit, or did we do it in arrogance and pride? I believe that perfect love drives out fear, and we can still present the gospel in a loving way, without watering down its message, if we were to wholly be dependent on God for our confidence.

Pride brought down Lucifer. Who are we to say that it won't happen to us. May our confidence never be built on our ability to comprehend the gospel or anything else, but may it be on the fact that we, who are unable to save ourselves, have a King that loves us with a love that's beyond comprehension. May our confidence be built of Christ Himself.

"Search me O God, and I will be found. In Your will, is where I will find rest."

28th May, 2005 - Ambrose & Geraldine's wedding. 

Marriages

Ambrose and Geraldine (I call her Yee Woon) tied the knot on the 28th of May, 2005, approximately about 11:00am (Brisbane time). Standing beside Ambrose as his best man was one of the most memorable experiences for me as I watch and hear him recite his commitment to Yee Woon before God and the congregation. And as Yee Woon recite hers, tears role out from her eyes as she try to contains her emotions, knowing the weight of each word that was spoken.

The wedding was good, the ceremony running without any glitches, with the dinner following the same fashion. But as I come to find out that the planning for this wedding started 8 months back when Ambrose proposed to Yee Woon. Thousands of Australian dollars were spent, as well as tens of people were pulled in for their effort in coordinating this event, which all in all, lasted for just little over 2 hours.

Something crept into my mind as I stood and pondered about all this: Does our "I will" have more "commitment" weighed to it if we were to plan more for the wedding day? I mean, what if a wedding (I'm not meaning Ambrose's) was done without any frills... would that have given it a less "meaningful" association?

This year, I've had the privillege to see 3 couples say their vows before God and before men, to stand with each other thru all the possible calamaties of life, and till death do they part. Up till now, I can still sum up that weddings, when compare to the maintainance of marriages, is still far far much easier to pull off. Though planning for weddings can be tedious (and more than often, they are), but yet many couples do not prepare themselves for marriages. It is then not surprising to see that 1 in 2 marriages in the United States end up in divorce, and also how this trend is slowly creeping into the other countries of the world.

I guess that's probably why the Apostle Paul encouraged the early church to stay single, and only to marry when they cannot control themselves ("burn with passion"). But yet, without belittleling Paul, God's plan for mankind is a wedding, and how Christ will be our bridegroom, and we'll be His bride. Spotless bride. One of God's intention, I believe, is to continue to reveal His love through marriages. And I continue to believe that it is essential for a marriage to be filled with the love of God, because it was never meant to be sustained independent of God, but rather, it is His love that sustains the husband and wife, allowing them to draw love from Him as they love each other and love Him back.

I pray for Ambrose and Geraldine that may their marriage continue to flourish with love for each other as the grow deeper in love with God each day.

God's still on the throne

The journey of life is full of ups and downs. Nothing new to that. For some reason, even though we as people have gone thru these experiences countless of times, yet it doesn't prepare us, at least emotionally, for what's to come next. It's sort of like riding on a roller coaster. You can ride it a hundred times, and yet, you can still be thrilled with the next ride.

My faith continues to be tested. And I continue to learn more about myself. I now see a different side of myself. I guess I would never have known that side should I never have gone thru what I've just been through. Life's like that, I guess.

However, one truth remains the same in my heart, that is God's still on the throne. He's been there since the beginning of time, is there, and will always be there. It's sort of something that gives me the hope to believe that God is making all things good.

And I still believe in love. I believe in the eros love that driven by the God given agape love. I believe in fighting for a loved one. I believe in love. I believe in love...

Where does the road leads now? I'm not sure. But of this I am... God's still on the throne. And as long as He's there, I have hope.

"Take me to the place You want me to be Lord. I'm Yours."

Forgiveness... (Part 2)

God never intended for the impartation of forgiveness to based on the basis of "worthiness"; whether the person deserves it or not, but rather, from love, grace and mercy instead. Because once the forgiveness is extended, the healing process begin, not just on the receiver, but on the giver as well.

Pope's attempted assassination... 

Pope with Agca 

Forgiveness

As the world prays for the Pope John Paul II, many websites take the opportunity to publish the story of his life. One that caught my attention was the slideshow on MSNBC. It portrays the early life of Karol Wojtyla, which was the Pope's name before he took the name John Paul II at his election. Two slides that caught my attention was the one on his attempted assassination and the one when he met up with the would-be assassin in prison. The pope quoted that it was Christ's teaching that instructed him to forgive Agca, his would-be assassin.

Forgiveness was why Christ came down to earth. It was his purpose to die on the cross so that we would receive the forgiveness of God that we never have nor would ever deserve. However, unforgiveness continues to plague the world, and the church itself is not spared. Taking the Pope's example, one could say that John Paul could forgive Agca because he has fully devoted his life to God, and if the attempted assassination was done on someone else close to him, the Pope might have a different reaction. I beg to differ on this because I see that the Pope will react the same way because of his stance of Christ's teaching on his life. John Paul acknowledged that Christ's teachings is more important than anything else in his life, including his own personal feelings.

I had a wonderful time yesterday sharing on the issue of "sin". One point that I highlighted during my sharing was that sin simply means disobeying God. As we look at the people around our lives, we notice that there are plenty of non-Christians that behaves a hundred fold better than some Christians. And yet, the bible terms them as "sinners". I pointed out during the sharing that the reason for this is because non-Christians do not know God, and therefore, CANNOT obey God, no matter how "good" they are in the eyes of others. Christians, on the other hand, have the choice to obey God, or disobey God (hence "sinning"). Non-Christians will continue in their blindness until someone bring them the light, or the truth. However, coming back to the point that I want to make, we as Christians now have the choice to obey God. And one of God's imperative for us is to forgive others just as Christ have forgiven us. There is just no excuse that we can come up to justify our disobedience on this commandment. Period. No matter the crime or the atrocity that has been committed, we are still left with only one way to obey God, that is to forgive. Any other outcome would result in sin.

The reason why people struggle with forgiveness is the intense desire for justice. The reason why we have this desire is because God gave it to us. It's a good trait to have. Animals lack this desire. However, God said that He, not us, will take care of justice (Romans 12:19). The moment we take justice into our own hands, it shows that we lack faith in God. Our lack of faith will basically state that God is not whom He claims to be (not Almighty), thus making Him a liar, and finally, making Him anything but God. However, God has called us to trust in Him (Proverbs 3:5), and when we do this, we will reap the rewards of our obedience to Him, and for our faith in Him.

Until we understand the value of forgiveness by obeying God in forgiving others, we will never be able to receive that forgiveness from God (Mark 11:22-25). God never made it a prequisite for us to be perfect before forgiving us, but rather, in His infinite love, Jesus died for us while we were still sinners.

Easter has past for bout a week already. I pray that in my own life, I would see everyday that the cross Jesus has died on would be enough proof for me to obey God without the need to know why.

"Oh the wonderful cross, oh the wonderful cross,
Bids me come and die, and find that I, may truly live.
Oh the wonderful cross, oh the wonderful cross,
All who gather here, by grace draw near, and bless Your name.."


“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” - Luke 23:34

Thank You Jesus...